Written By Sabbatha Ashvale
Weekly Forecast: The Celestial Pit
Ready for a total system override? This week, both Venus and Mars are diving straight into the heart of the sun, what is known as “kaṣmīmī,” but we’re calling a total stage dive.
Venus hits this cycle once a year, but Mars hasn’t had a visceral purification ritual like this since November 2023.
To crank the gain even higher, Venus and Mars are finally sharing the stage for the first time since February 2024.
What this means for everyone. This auspicious moment is a massive lineup reset for your personal connections. Any new alliances or “love” interests sparked right now aren’t just radio edits, they’re going to be a masterclass in romance and destiny for both single and attached individuals.
Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19)
Aries, your long awaited reboot of your professional rider finally arrives.
This isn’t about winning “Best New Artist” award or getting a sudden shout out from the main stage, it’s about subtle shifts under the stage floor that are permanently altering your path.
Your endgame is evolving, and so is the crew standing behind you. You might clash with some toxic ego dynamics outside the studio. Read the room before you start a solo.
Your Lucky Song of The Week: Fear of Domination – Endgame
Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20)
Taurus, you’ve been stuck in pre production for ages, but the logistical nightmare is finally over.
You’re finally booking that cross country trek to a legendary festival staus. This isn’t just a weekend gig, this experience is going to blow the doors off your current perspective and give your “sound” a whole new depth.
It’s been a hell of a long time since your true North felt this loud and clear. Don’t rush the setlist,trust that you’re just in the opening bars of a long, epic masterpiece.
Your Lucky Song of The Week: Kal-El – Juno
Gemini (May 21 – Jun 20)
Gemini, this week your life is hitting a technicolor high gain distortion. Your imagination is at high volume helping you find killer new solos for those tired, old problems you’ve been stuck on.
Whether it’s backstage hangs, a quick run to a record shop, or an impromptu road trip, you’re pulling in massive new insights.
For those in a dual lead-guitar dynamic (couples), your communication is tighter than a double-kick drum.
If you’re currently a solo act, keep an eye on your inner circle, a “friendship” is starting to sound a lot like a heavy collaboration.
Your Lucky Song of The Week: Tom Morello – Everything Burns
Cancer (Jun 21 – Jul 22)
Cancer, this week isn’t about being the ego driven solo artist, it’s about the unbreakable chemistry of the rhythm section.
Leadership matters way less than the tightness of the band right now. Whatever spot you’re holding in the lineup, lock in and make it heavy.
The stars are giving you a massive boost making it easier for your voice to cut through the noise but know when to hold back those brutal lyrics until the exact moment they’ll hit the hardest.
Your Lucky Song of The Week: Nox Resonatia – The Shape You Left Me In
Leo (Jul 23 – Aug 22)
Leo, the first half of the week sees Jupiter sitting in your eleventh house, acting like a sold out world tour. Expect a major surge in your “merch sales” and some serious returns on the investments you’ve made in your gear.
Meanwhile, Saturn is lurking in your eighth house acting like a brutal record label lawyer. This placement is a warning.
Watch out for “technical glitches” in your health, sudden financial drains, or roadblocks in your career that require a surgeon’s precision to fix. Don’t sign anything in blood this year without reading the fine print twice.
Your Lucky Song of The Week: Eisbrecher – Waffen, Waffen, Waffen
Virgo (Aug 23 – Sep 22)
Virgo, the first half of the week finds Jupiter sitting in your tenth house, which is basically your ascent to headliner status.
All that meticulous “studio time” and the relentless grind are finally paying off. Expect a promotion.
This is the kind of visible progress that makes the gatekeepers stop and take notice. Your steady, technical precision is finally getting the recognition it deserves.
Your Lucky Song of The Week: GRUNTS – FIGÜRAS
Libra (Sep 23 – Oct 23)
Libra, until May 21st, Jupiter is shredding through your ninth house, which is basically an all access pass to the global scene.
Your social status is spiking, and you’re making high level contacts with the “heavy hitters” and tastemakers of the industry.
This is your time to get your name on the international festival circuit and soak up the recognition you’ve earned from the “underground.”
Your Lucky Song of The Week: No Preachers – Tracers
Scorpio (Oct 24 – Nov 22)
Scorpio, Jupiter is lurking in your eighth house, which is like being stuck in a complex contract dispute.
This is your “caution” period, keep a sharp eye on your “tour funds” and avoid any sketchy, underground investments that sound too good to be true.
Your physical “chassis” needs a tune-up, too. Don’t ignore the red lights on your internal amp. Stay in the studio, refine your sound, and keep your “royalties” under lock and key.
Your Lucky Song of The Week: Paleface Swiss – Withering Flower
Sagittarius (Nov 23 – Dec 21)
Sagittarius, Jupiter is riffing through your seventh house, making this the ultimate season for high stakes collaborations.
Whether you’re signing a “till death do us part” contract or reuniting with a legendary former bandmate, the energy is primed for massive partnerships.
If you’ve been looking for that perfect co-headliner for your life, the stars are lining up for the ultimate metalhead partnership.
Your Lucky Song of The Week: Vended – Nihilism (Live)
Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19)
Capricorn, Saturn is holding down the low end in your third house, acting as your personal PR and Networking Strategist.
This isn’t about getting “likes” on social media, it’s about the slow, heavy work of building a real “street team” and local alliances that actually have your back.
You’ll find yourself grinding alongside veterans who can teach you new “technical skills” or help you optimize your daily ritual so you don’t burn out before the encore.
Your Lucky Song of The Week: Falchi – Sweetchasm Pt. 2
Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18)
Aquarius, Saturn is parked in your second house, acting like a brutal business manager.
It’s time to stop spending like you’ve already gone platinum. This year demands serious discipline with your “gear fund” and personal finances.
You’ll also need to watch your “mic technique” when dealing with your inner circle. Miscommunications with the “home crew” could lead to some nasty feedback.
Your Lucky Song of The Week: Nahum – Mantra
Pisces (Feb 19 – March 20)
Pisces, Saturn is sitting right in your first house, acting like a weighted battle vest that will slow you down. Expect technical delays.
Jupiter is parked in your fourth house until May 21st, acting as your sanctuary. Your “home studio” is your happy place.
The second half of the week brings a surge in romantic “duets,” creative breakthroughs.
Your Lucky Song of The Week: Amira Elfeky – Forever Overdose
“That’s your cosmic rider for the week ahead. Navigate the chaos, trust your gut, and remember, even the stars bow to a wall of sound. Over and out from the Lair.”
Missed last weeks Metalhead Horoscope? You can find it here.
⚠️ Disclaimer: When Your Guitar Tech Is a Cancer
Hiring a Cancer as your guitar tech is essentially asking an over-emotional gothic poet to handle heavy equipment.
If you blow a tube mid-set, don’t expect urgency. They’re backstage spiraling into an absurd emotional escalation over a bassist related non event.
They’ll tune your E string, then cry for no apparent reason whatsoever.
While most roadies carry a Leatherman, yours carries tissues instead.
Your gear will be immaculate. Your band will need therapy after.
More from this author: Dive deeper with A Rip in Time: Women in Metal
Don’t wait for the algorithm to bless you, sign up for the Metal Lair Newsletter 📧 straight from the source and never miss a drop.
Metalhead Horoscope F.A.Q.
Q: Are these horoscopes real astrology or just jokes for metalheads?
A: Both. The horoscopes come from actual astrological forecasts, but the language is written in pure metalhead tongue- in-cheek because you deserve prophecy that sounds like a pit, not a PTA meeting.
Q: How do we pick the Lucky Song of the Week?
A: Each track is hand picked to echo the week’s cosmic vibe. If Mars is throwing horns, expect riffs sharp enough to cut steel. If the Moon is weeping in Virgo, you’ll get a track that slays with precision. No boring playlists, no cookie cutter picks. Just new drops, deep cuts and cult classics.
Q: Can metal really mix with astrology?
A: Of course. Both are about cycles, transformation, and intensity. Astrology tells you where the stars are screaming and metal tells you how to scream back.
Q: Why should I care about astrology if I only worship riffs and distortion?
A: Because the cosmos is basically the ultimate tour manager thats setting the stage, flipping the lights, and sometimes cancelling the gig. You don’t have to believe in it to bang your head to it.
Q: Do we take requests for Lucky Songs in our horoscopes?
A: Absolutely. Drop your ideas in the comments or shoot us a message. We might just spin your favorite band into the cosmic setlist next week.
Q: Does Metal Lair have other series like this?
A: Yes! Metal Lair runs several signature series that explore every corner of heavy music:
- Seven Deadly Songs – A weekly roundup of the most unholy new releases.
- Deep Cuts – Hidden gems and lost recordings from rock and metal history.
- A Rip in Time: Women in Metal – A series celebrating the voices, pioneers, and rule-breakers reshaping heavy music’s DNA
- World Metal Weekly – A global passport through the underground, one country at a time.
- Ministry of Metal – A satirical authority devoted to the laws, rituals, and unspoken rules of heavy music. Proclamations, decrees, cultural edicts, and metal lore delivered with humor and bite.
- Metal Legacy Profiles – Deep-dive essays honoring artists who shaped metal’s sound, culture, and philosophy. These aren’t timelines or greatest-hits lists, but examinations of impact, conflict, evolution, and what each figure left behind.
Metalhead Horoscope is a Metal Lair™ Original Series
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Sabbatha Ashvale is Metal Lair’s resident wildfire in eyeliner. A music journalist and storyteller who writes like she’s swinging a torch through the catacombs of heavy music. She’s equal parts historian and shit-stirrer. Her work focuses on artistry, history, and the often overlooked creators who define metal’s evolving future. She brings depth, grit, and a razor sharp perspective to every piece she writes.