Written By Sabbatha Ashvale
Weekly Metalhead Horoscope Christmas Edition
Christmas doesn’t tiptoe, moshes inside the door with tinsel, bad music, and a calendar packed tighter than a sold-out venue. For metalheads, December is less about slowing down and more about adapting. Routines get shaken and nostalgia sneaks up.
This week moves with purpose. Capricorn season brings focus, follow-through, and the quiet satisfaction of getting things done while everyone else is distracted.
Some of you will disappear into headphones. Some will power through the chaos. Some will find unexpected moments of connection hiding between obligations. Through it all, metal stays steady, familiar and grounding.
These are Metal Lair’s Metalhead Horoscopes. A holiday guide for navigating Christmas with humor, honesty, and riffs that still hit when everything else gets noisy.
The Winter Solstice hits like the slow fade in of a doom riff, quiet at first, then undeniable. Capricorn season begins, shifting the energy away from chaos and into structure and long term intent.
This isn’t about instant gratification. This is about building something that survives the tour, the hangover, and the next decade.
The Sun and Venus move into Capricorn, making everyone more ambitious than an odd time signature in a prog metal song.
Christmas brings reflection by pulling you back to your old classic metal vinyl. By the 27th, you’re already grooving to something newer and heavier.
ARIES (March 21–April 19)
You’re handling the load-in this week, not because you want to, but because someone has to.
Capricorn season puts you in charge whether you like it or not. Being lead singer looks unglamorous right now because of logistics, patience and holding the band together.
Christmas Day forces reflection. One old song cracks open the past and drops you back into it without warning. January brings a reset. Keep it tight. Complete that unfinished album.
Lucky Song of The Week: Megadeth – Let There Be Shred
TAURUS April 21 – May 21
Taurians are all for Christmas time, but the constant barrage of Christmas music is messing with your metal vibe.
Too many plans, too much spending, and someone touched your sacred playlist like it was negotiable.
You feel it in your gut. Midweek, you shut the door, kill the noise, and go back to something heavy and familiar. The metal doesn’t lie. It asks for cheer. Stability isn’t boring. It’s how you survive this week intact.
Lucky Song of The Week: Worm – Blackheart
GEMINI May 22 – June 21
Your brain’s running faster than a blast beat this week. Everyone’s feeling festive and all anyone’s playing is Mariah Carey, while you’re craving Archspire.
People keep asking if you’re “ready for Christmas” like a broken record, while your mind is screaming for headphones and a clean escape.
Midweek, you disappear into music that’s intricate and demanding, riffs that require attention, not small talk. You’re not antisocial. You’re overstimulated.
Lucky Song of The Week: Archspire– Carrion Ladder
CANCER June 22 – July 22
Christmas turns your volume knob way up this week, and you feel it immediately. Too many people, too much noise and stale fruitcake.
Everyones pulling at you from every direction like youre in the pit, only Christmas music is playing, not metal.
You’re protective of your space and the few people who actually matter. Someone wants forced cheer and you want Heavy’s, the soft glow of the Christmas tree and metal.
Midweek softens things as you reconnect with your posse and remember why an intimate holiday celebration beats spectacle every time. Guard your energy. Not everyone gets access.
Lucky Song of The Week: Amorphis – Crowned in Crimson
LEO July 23 – August 23
Christmas week is all logistics for you. Errands, schedules and obligations. The unglamorous side of keeping the show running.
While everyone else is leaning into indulgence, you’re tightening your routine and thinking long term. Someone gives you side eye for skipping the eggnog or leaving early, but you’re already focused on what comes next.
This isn’t about denying yourself, it’s about staying sharp. You want to mosh into the new year clear headed, not hung over.
Lucky Song of The Week: Powerwolf – Alive or Undead Live
VIRGO August 24 – September 22
Christmas hits a nerve this week. Something you really wanted, concert tickets, a relationship, a rare first pressing vinyl didn’t survive the year.
You’re not being dramatic about it, but you feel the loss. Instead of forcing cheer, you retreat into what still works. Structure, focus, and metal that pays attention to detail.
This isn’t a breakdown. It’s recalibration. You’re clearing space for what actually deserves your energy.
Lucky Song of The Week: Epica – Menace of Vanity (Live)
LIBRA September 23 – October 23
Christmas puts you in mediator mode. Family tension turns into a mosh pit, work pressure, and unspoken expectations humming in the background.
You’re the one smoothing things over while someone hijacks the playlist or turns every conversation into a metal genre debate you didn’t ask for.
You keep your cool, but it costs you. This week isn’t about gate keeping, it’s about choosing which battles deserve your energy. Keep it balanced. Keep it heavy. Silence is sometimes the sharpest response.
Lucky Song of The Week: DYMYTRY PARADOX – Reignite Me
SCORPIO October 24 – November 22
Christmas turns everything up to eleven. Travel, hosting, obligations and somehow it all lands on you. You feel responsible even when you shouldn’t, and people quietly expect you to carry all the gear.
The upside? Midweek shows you exactly who the real metalheads are. Small gestures cut through the noise.
Someone shows up without being asked. Someone gets it without explanation. You clock it. Remember it. Loyalty matters more than tradition this week.
Lucky Song of The Week: Lacuna coil – Hosting The Shadow
SAGITTARIUS November 23 – November December 21
You went a little hard this season. Too generous with the metalhead gifts, too spontaneous, too many “it’s fine, it’s Christmas” decisions.
Now the receipts are staring back at you. Capricorn season doesn’t judge, it just asks what you actually need.
Midweek brings a reality check, and it’s not a punishment. It’s a reset. Some of the best presents this week aren’t things you buy, they’re the plans you cancel and the limits you finally respect.
Lucky Song of The Week: Coheed And Cambria – One Last Miracle
CAPRICORN December 22 – January 20
Capricorn season moshes right in and suddenly everything makes sense again. While everyone else is floating on holiday chaos, you’re grounded, focused, and already thinking past December.
Christmas doesn’t distract you, it shows you what’s solid and what’s been dead weight all year.
This isn’t about celebration. It’s about building riffs that last. Stay alert, eyes forward and no karate in the pit. You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.
Lucky Song of The Week: Evoken – Mendacium
AQUARIUS January 21 – February 18
Christmas makes you want to disappear and you don’t feel bad about it. The invites pile up, the group chats won’t shut up, and everyone expects meet and greets like it’s mandatory. It isn’t.
Cancel what drains you, stay home without explanation, and submerge into metal thats cold, strange, or experimental that actually makes sense to you.
This isn’t isolation. it’s self preservation. Solitude sharpens your thinking this week. Let the world riff loudly somewhere else.
Lucky Song of The Week: Ponte Del Diavolo – Il Veleno della Natura
PISCES February 19th – March 20
Christmas pulls you into the pit this week with work parties, family gatherings and last minute plans moshing into each other.
Somehow, you’re the one riffing when things get messy. Someone flakes, someone drops the ball, and you quietly pick it up without making a scene.
Midweek, you lean into the blast beats instead of fighting them, finding moments of connection between the chaos.
You absorb more than most, so choose your soundtrack carefully. Not everything needs your energy, just what resonates
Lucky Song of The Week: Axe Dragger – Axe Dragger
Missed last weeks Metalhead Horoscope? You can find it here.
⚠️ Disclaimer: When your tour manager is a Capricorn, rest days are a myth and “free time” is a scheduling error. They believe work is a lifestyle and sleep is optional. They’ll schedule back-to-back shows, suggest double booking dates, and somehow act surprised when humans require recovery.
Meal breaks? A luxury. Eating slows productivity. If you’re hungry, that’s a personal flaw, not a logistical issue. Capricorn genuinely believes everyone should be working 24/7 for free because passion. And if the van catches fire, they’ll still ask why load in was late.
More from this author: Dive deeper with A Rip in Time: Women in Metal
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Here at Metal Lair, we know the holidays hit different when metal is your native language. December isn’t always lights and cheer. Sometimes it’s long nights, loud rooms, hijacked playlists, and that familiar tug between obligation and escape.
Christmas has a way of dragging the past back into the room, right along with the relatives, the receipts, and the songs you didn’t ask to hear.
So wherever you are this season, guarding your inner circle, disappearing into headphones, grinding through responsibilities, or finding rare moments of connection between the chaos, we see you.
From all of us at Metal Lair, we wish you a heavy, happy holiday season. May your riffs be loud, your boundaries respected, and your metal never replaced by Mariah Carey without consent.
Stay sharp. Stay loud. Survive December.
Metalhead Horoscope F.A.Q.
Q: Are these horoscopes real astrology or just jokes for metalheads?
A: Both. The horoscopes come from actual astrological forcasts, but the language is written in pure metalhead tongue- in-cheek because you deserve prophecy that sounds like a pit, not a PTA meeting.
Q: How do we pick the Lucky Song of the Week?
A: Each track is hand picked to echo the week’s cosmic vibe. If Mars is throwing horns, expect riffs sharp enough to cut steel. If the Moon is weeping in Virgo, you’ll get a track that slays with precision. No boring playlists, no cookie cutter picks. Just new drops, deep cuts and cult classics.
Q: Can metal really mix with astrology?
A: Of course. Both are about cycles, transformation, and intensity. Astrology tells you where the stars are screaming and metal tells you how to scream back.
Q: Why should I care about astrology if I only worship riffs and distortion?
A: Because the cosmos is basically the ultimate tour manager thats setting the stage, flipping the lights, and sometimes cancelling the gig. You don’t have to believe in it to bang your head to it.
Q: Do we take requests for Lucky Songs in our horoscopes?
A: Absolutely. Drop your ideas in the comments or shoot us a message. We might just spin your favorite band into the cosmic setlist next week.
Q: Does Metal Lair have other series like this?
A: Yes! Metal Lair runs several signature series that explore every corner of heavy music:
- Seven Deadly Songs – A weekly roundup of the most unholy new releases.
- Deep Cuts – Hidden gems and lost recordings from rock and metal history.
- A Rip in Time: Women in Metal – A series celebrating the voices, pioneers, and rule-breakers reshaping heavy music’s DNA
- World Metal Weekly – A global passport through the underground, one country at a time.
- Ministry of Metal – A satirical authority devoted to the laws, rituals, and unspoken rules of heavy music. Proclamations, decrees, cultural edicts, and metal lore delivered with humor and bite.
- Metal Legacy Profiles – Deep-dive essays honoring artists who shaped metal’s sound, culture, and philosophy. These aren’t timelines or greatest-hits lists, but examinations of impact, conflict, evolution, and what each figure left behind.
Metalhead Horoscope is a Metal Lair Original Series
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Sabbatha Ashvale is Metal Lair’s resident wildfire in eyeliner. A music journalist and storyteller who writes like she’s swinging a torch through the catacombs of heavy music. She’s equal parts historian and shit-stirrer. Her work focuses on artistry, history, and the often overlooked creators who define metal’s evolving future. She brings depth, grit, and a razor sharp perspective to every piece she writes.