Written By Tristan Cardinelli
It’s the most wonderful time of the year… unless you’re a metal mascot. While the bands they represent are out there headbanging and shredding, these hard working iconic characters are finally get some time off during the holiday season to rest, recharge, and celebrate the holidays. But what do they do when they’re not storming stages and scaring children? Let’s take a peek at how some of these legends unwind during the holiday break.
Eddie (Iron Maiden)
Eddie’s been on the road for years like “the trooper” he is and let’s be real, he’s tired. After decades of traveling through time, space and apocalyptic battlefields Eddie just wants to relax. So, this year, he’s booked a one-week stay at a cozy cabin in the Swedish mountains, where he plans to sip hot cocoa, read War and Peace (the irony isn’t lost on him), and trying not to cause the locals to “run to the hills” when he steps out for a walk. Eddie is also secretly obsessed with knitting, so expect some DIY sweaters with “Killers” album art and skull patterns by the end of his stay.
Vic Rattlehead (Megadeth)
Vic’s had enough of being the symbol of a “symphony of destruction” for years. This holiday season, he’s taking a vow of complete silence. No more “countdown to extinction” and no chilling with Dave. Vic’s been gifted a 1-week silent meditation retreat in the forests of Oregon, where he’ll meditate, reflect, and try to “find peace” (but secretly, he’s just looking for the nearest music store to buy a new set of headphones). No one’s quite sure what he’ll come back looking like, but we’re betting it’ll involve less skull-face and more “Namaste” vibes.
Snaggletooth (Motörhead)
This year, Snaggletooth is cutting loose. He’s booked a cruise in the Caribbean. Yes, the “born to raise hell” mascot of Motörhead is sipping rum on a sun drenched beach, trying to blend in with the locals while sporting his signature spiked collar. He’s also a fan of Christmas carols but only the ones with really dark lyrics. So, when he’s not puking overboard from one too many shots of Jack Daniels, he’s humming “Fairytale of New York” by The Pogues. Just… don’t ask him to play any Monopoly, he’s a real “ace of spades” at boardgames.
Jack O (Helloween)
Jack O’s life is a whirlwind of pumpkins, skeletons, and endless Halloween fun but every year, around Christmas time, he just wants to take a break from being the face of spooky season “straight out of hell.” This year, Jack O’s travelling to “where the rain grows” in the tropics, wearing an oversized Hawaiian shirt and sporting flip-flops. He’s spent most of the week trying to convince people he’s just a regular guy named “Jack.” And while the tropical drinks are nice, Jack O is beginning to realize you can’t build a snowman out of sand. His vacation consists of sunbathing and way too many coconut drinks with little umbrellas.
The Reaper (Children of Bodom)
The Reaper’s had a rough year. After watching the souls of metal fans come and go, he’s in desperate need of some “me-time.” So this year he’s spending the “holiday at Lake Bodom” (where else?) to indulge in his favorite winter hobby, snowboarding down really steep hills while listening to “Silent Night, Bodom Night.” He’s trying not to get too gloomy, but the quiet solitude is a bit much for him. He’s spent a suspicious amount of time shopping for a new scythe (the old one’s just not cutting it), and he’s been working on his golf handicap. But hey, he’ll be back in time for the new tour. Just don’t expect him to wear a Christmas sweater.
Captain Morgan (Alestorm)
Captain Morgan has sailed into the holiday season with pirate level enthusiasm. He’s taken a month off to visit various pirate-themed resorts and attending “Pirate Appreciation Week” in the Caribbean. Naturally, there’s a lot of rum involved and he’s trying not to get “shipwrecked.” This year, Captain Morgan’s trying to diversify his palate. He’s been testing eggnog recipes. He’s also planning on visiting “Nancy the tavern witch.” His goal this year is to avoid a “hangover.”
Murray (Dio)
Murray, Dio’s faithful demon, doesn’t really understand the concept of Christmas. He’s a demon, after all. What’s a jolly man in a red suit gonna do to impress him? Still, after a year of headbanging and “fever dreams,” he’s agreed to try something new this season. Murray’s currently spending some time in an upscale ski lodge in the Alps where he can “hide in the rainbow.” He’s trying to enjoy some snow and the warmth of a roaring fire. But he’s having a tough time. The reindeer keep giving him “evil eyes,” and the Christmas carolers are far too perky for his taste. As he stares longingly at the Yule log, he wonders if there’s any other holiday that involves less cheer and more doom. Maybe he’ll just have “one more for the road” to drown out the jolly singing.
Ghost of War (Slayer)
The Ghost of War, Slayer’s iconic mascot has been busy. With all the non-stop chaos, conflict, and “war ensemble,” he’s exhausted. For his holiday, he’s opting for the most zen vacation possible: a week in a Buddhist monastery in the mountains “south of heaven.” Yes, the Ghost of War is trying to meditate, get in touch with his inner peace, and learn the art of deep breathing. Of course, it’s not easy. Every time he opens his mouth to say “Om,” his voice comes out sounding like an “angel of death.” So, he spends most of his time sitting in silence, contemplating the meaning of life… and also, the possibility of a Slayer reunion tour. Maybe next year, he’ll join a yoga class.
Violent Mind (Kreator)
Violent Mind, the disembodied floating head that exudes “hordes of chaos,” has been working overtime lately. Between creeping into the thoughts of fans like “lambs to the slaughter” and exuding a sinister gaze that makes even the most diehard metalhead second-guess their life choices, he’s ready for a break. This holiday season, he’s treating himself to a retreat in the Swiss Alps, where he can relax and stop influencing “violent revolution” for a while. Surrounded by snow and serenity, Violent Mind is… well, he’s trying to relax. But between the snowflakes and the sound of distant Christmas bells, he remains in a “state of unrest.” He’ll definitely need a few more days to find peace.
Facebones (Dethklok)
Facebones, more than just a mascot, is a loyal informant to Dethklok, floating ominously in the background with a decayed, rotting face that never stops smiling—because, why not? While the band is off “raining black fire upon us” while on tour, Facebones takes this time to kick back and do something completely non-metal. This holiday, he’s been spotted at a Christmas festival, still adorning a few horns and spikes, of course. His eye sockets continue to rot, but Facebones is embracing the festivities with surprising joy, loudly announcing to the staff that he’s here to “spread holiday cheer and possibly tell everyone who’s been arguing behind the scenes in Dethklok.” Rumor has it he’s got a side gig as a “bloodrocuted” holiday elf at the mall in New Jersey. But you know, he’s still very jovial.
So, this holiday season, while metal fans are headbanging through another year of chaos and riffs, let’s remember that the true heroes of metal, the mascots, are out there, finding peace in their own ways. Whether it’s skiing in the Alps, sipping rum on a pirate ship, or just knitting sweaters, these figures of musical legend deserve a little rest. So here’s to their well earned holiday vacations. May it be loud and full of delightful absurdity. Happy holidays from your favorite metal mascots!