Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Your fiery energy will put you front and center in life’s mosh pit this week. While you thrive on chaos, remember: not every situation calls for a wall of death. Save the aggression for something productive—like finally nailing that Raining Blood riff. Lucky Song: War Ensemble. Warning: Beware of air-guitar-related injuries.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
The doom is strong this week, Taurus. You’ll feel pulled between work obligations and the call of the couch, beckoning you to binge-listen Master of Reality. Let yourself recharge, but don’t ghost the jam session with friends. Lucky Song: Into the Void. Warning: Someone may criticize your vinyl collection—stay grounded.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
This week, your duality will be tested: leather or denim? Thrash or progressive metal? Embrace your indecisiveness and make time for both. You might even discover your next favorite band by sheer accident. Lucky Song: By The Pain I See in Others. Warning: Avoid sharing Spotify playlists with normies; they won’t get it.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
You’re feeling extra nostalgic this week, Cancer. Blast Bloody Kisses on repeat, but don’t forget to hydrate between tears and beers. The stars suggest a deep conversation with your fellow metalhead friend, preferably while surrounded by candles and fog. Lucky Song: Love You to Death. Warning: Avoid exes who suddenly text you about “missing the old days.”
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
The universe has handed you the mic, Leo! Whether you’re taking the stage (literally or figuratively), your charisma will shine brighter than Eddie on a world tour. Just don’t let the attention go to your head—after all, even Bruce Dickinson knows when to share the spotlight. Lucky Song: The Trooper. Warning: Watch out for poser energy in your circle.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
The planets are aligning, Virgo, but they’re doing it in a weird time signature. Dive deep into your projects this week, but don’t overanalyze every riff—sometimes it’s okay to just shred. Lucky Song: Nea Culpa. Warning: Overthinking your next tattoo idea could lead to paralysis by analysis.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Balance is your strength, Libra, but this week you’ll be tempted to overindulge in fantasy (and possibly symphonic metal). Let yourself dream, but keep one foot in reality—or at least one toe in the mosh pit. Lucky Song: pendulum. Warning: A friend may question the practicality of your cape collection. Ignore them.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Dark and brooding, just the way you like it, Scorpio. This week is all about channeling your inner Nergal: rise above challenges and own your intensity. You might intimidate a few people, but honestly, that’s the point. Lucky Song: Blow Your Trumpets Gabriel . Warning: Avoid “casual fans” trying to explain black metal to you.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Adventure calls, Sagittarius, and it sounds like Lemmy’s bassline. Take a spontaneous road trip to a gig, or at least hit up that dive bar with the sick jukebox. Keep your energy high and your whiskey higher. Lucky Song: Overkill. Warning: Too much caffeine could lead to headbang-related whiplash.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
This week, your focus and drive will be unmatched. Channel your inner Hetfield and work relentlessly toward your goals, but avoid being too much of a perfectionist. It’s okay if the solo isn’t 100% precise. Lucky Song: Fade To Black. Warning: Office politics may feel like a toxic mosh pit; stay calm.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
You’re feeling experimental, Aquarius. Dive headfirst into a weird subgenre this week (avant-garde death metal, perhaps?). Let your eccentric side shine and don’t be afraid to alienate the basics. Lucky Song: Kingdom. Warning: People may not understand your latest creative project—and that’s fine.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Dreamy and introspective, you’re in full prog-metal mode this week, Pisces. Let yourself drift into long, melodic daydreams, but don’t lose track of reality. Keep it balanced with the occasional blast beat. Lucky Song: Deliverance. Warning: You might forget where you put your keys after a particularly epic riff session.