Written By Caine Blackthorn
Hold onto your devil horns, because the Gods of Metal have spoken! Black Sabbath announced their upcoming mega-show earlier this month, set for July 5 at Villa Park in Birmingham. All four original members will reunite in their hometown. The sacred birthplace of heavy metal itself. But that’s not all! This will also be Ozzy Osbourne’s FINAL performance. Yes, the Prince of Darkness is officially retiring from the stage, though we’re fairly certain he’ll still be haunting reality TV.
The concert will be a who’s who of metal legends, featuring Metallica, Slayer, Alice in Chains, Pantera, Halestorm, Mastodon, and a mystery supergroup that we can only assume was formed through an ancient blood pact. Proceeds from the show will go toward charity, which means you can headbang and feel morally superior at the same time. Win-win!
The Great Ticket Apocalypse: Black Sabbath Fans vs. The Machine
Let’s talk about the real metal battle that went down this week: fans versus Ticketmaster.
The artist presale kicked off, and immediately, chaos erupted. People entered the online queue, expecting to grab tickets, only to find themselves behind enough fans to fill a small country. Reports surfaced of wait times longer than Ozzy’s career, tickets vanishing before they could even click “Add to Cart,” and prices that made some question if they were actually buying a seat or a small vacation home in Birmingham.
A few lucky souls managed to secure their golden tickets, and their strategies were downright diabolical. One fan detailed their master plan on Reddit:
“I loaded up the Ticketmaster countdown page 90 minutes early because someone said the queue secretly opens way before the official time. At 10 AM, I was in. The queue started at 2,500, but it dropped quickly. BOOM! Tickets secured.”
Meanwhile, the rest of us were left staring at the spinning Ticketmaster loading wheel, contemplating our life choices.
The General Sale: More Pain, More Misery, Less Tickets
For those who didn’t get tickets during the presale, the general sale was their last hope. But within 16 minutes, the tickets were gone faster than a Slayer riff. Fans reported the same issues of endless wait times, ticket prices that required taking out a second mortgage. Seats appearing, then disappearing faster than Ozzy’s ability to form a coherent sentence. And a ticket buying process that felt more like a psychological experiment in patience
Final Thoughts: Was It Worth It?
Despite the chaos, one thing is certain: this will be the metal event of the century. Sure, getting tickets was harder than getting Ozzy to remember lyrics without a teleprompter, but those who secured a spot will witness history.
And for those who didn’t? Well, there’s always the bootleg DVD, right?
